ok now...

2006-02-28T09:29:00.000-08:00

www.chiobuseverywhere.blogspot.com

desperate husbands

2006-02-05T04:37:00.000-08:00

in the light of recent events, something extreme must be done. there must be at least a maximum age where someone is legally allowed to show signs of being desperate. once that person is past that age cap and still displays symptoms of being desperate like frequently turning your neck to check out the girls behind you, giggling and talking about girlie stuff with one big group of guys then he or she will have to be dealt with severely. all these activities should have remained during secondary school or at most JC..
ahh but where will the fun be then?

ooops he did it again...

2006-01-28T07:23:00.000-08:00

the gays dont seem to give up..this time its an ang moh..ok i may seem a little sensitive but here's what happened..
ang moh man comes up next to me suddenly and talks to me..the geez of the conversation:
-"why looking so sad its chinese new yr.."
-"you drink beer..aww you dunno what you are missing out on..so i take it that you dont smoke.."
-(here's the ultimate punchline) "wanna come my house for a drink.."
-and finally just before he leaves, he just had to wink at me..

yes in case you still dont know what im talking abt, i think i was a victim of an attempted pick up by an ang moh gay guy..the worse thing was that he looks like a real family man, father of 3 lovely children..imagine if his wife finds out that i was having an affair with her husband..

THE DELIGHT OF A THREESOME!!!! haha just joking

the decadence of society

2006-01-21T06:02:00.000-08:00

you know something is wrong when you see a boy abt 7 or 8 yrs old trying to peep up a girl's skirt..which was what i saw in a crowded train today..swore that i would have went over to the boy and grab him by the throat if his mother did not pull him back by his hair
i wouldnt have done such a humiliating thing if i hadnt watched this top notch british movie football hooligans a.k.a green street hooligans..it sorts of influence your courage, not to ask chiobus out of course but to itch for fights to satisfy that blood-thirsty fist of yours..
another incident was when i approached these few farked up ang mohs who seemingly acted blur and did not want to return my kids their ball during their soccer training..the spirit of football hooliganism came over me and had not their sensible coach asked them to return the ball i would have beaten them up into a bloody pulp..ok im quite sure the outcome would be the other way round but again thats not the point..this show riddled with vulgarities really boosts your confidence and self esteem..highly recommended to people like limin..

what i do on my weekends

2006 awaiting 2007

2006-01-08T01:56:00.000-08:00

its a good thing i havnt been writing for almost 2 weeks..my blog in the past has been about my embarrassing.depressing.pathetic.heartbreaking.miserable.disappointing.
dismal.ultimatelyLOSERlife. so the less entries this blog gets this year means the more improved my life is..or so it seems..

anywayz no need for new yr resolutions coz they all jz fade away into thin air sooner or later..
e.g. its easy to say "i will not make fun of the short man with the big mole planted on his face" but to actually practice it..or "i will not lament at the fact abt seeing that ugly guy in town with a model standard girlfriend" but when u do see such cases time and time again..

sigh we havta wait another 350 days before that magical feeling of christmas comes again..

insults.com

2005-12-18T02:40:00.000-08:00

oh dear i didnt know that many ppl read my blog...

anywayz i think there is something wrong with me..woke up in the middle of the night and jz started laughing at the insults directed at me..some went like..
1) "wah lau daren the way u dress sure kena stopped by the fashion police one..."
2) "daren's ex gf..how to describe her face..to even begin with i wouldnt even call it a face.."
its damn insulting for me but if it makes you guys out there laugh then so be it..

btw for those of you who are darn interested in my love life..its fluorishing..but only on the HOMOsexual side..i still cant comprehend why im only attractive to gays..wtf

the real bitch...

2005-12-11T04:25:00.000-08:00

i really shouldnt post this but anywayz...

love is really a bitch..well sometimes it can be a pleasant experience depending on how u look at it but abt 60-70% of the time its really a bitch...

guy A really likes girl B but she already has a bf. guy A expresses his interest and even buys a shirt for her birthday. girl B gives it to her bf and guy A sees him wearing it in public. ah imagine the hurt. even i as a passive observer feel for him. not that girl B is a bitch though.

thats why im telling my friends out there, dont be a slave to love. dont be held ransome by some intangible object. go to the mountains and meditate for 20 yrs and obtain enlightenment. (give me your money before u leave though)

random pics again...

2005-12-11T02:47:00.000-08:00

Cherie sandwiched between 2 hunks

Val: *bimbotically* the throwing hat is so cool!!!
Cherie: Im so proud of u shaun
Daren and Jas: ORD loh SUCKAS!!!

2 yrs ago on dec 8...

2005-12-04T02:32:00.002-08:00

prom n.

A formal dance held for a high-school or college class typically at or near the end of the academic year.

ACS FOREVER!!!

2005-11-27T04:07:00.000-08:00

knnbccb...

2nd time in a week lifestyle on sunday features an acsian for their speak good chinese campaign. its as if acsians cant speak good chinese. thats fcukin stereotyping. and thats dangerous. making racist comments is part of stereotyping. so if they can punish that blogger for making racist comments then why can they allow stereotypes on the newspaper.

give me 24 hrs and i will find you 10 non acsian students who only know "da", "xiao", "ren" etc. and another 10 acsians whos mother tongue can thrash the communists from short pants school. oops did i just make a stereotypical remark?

PART 1: the good

2005-11-19T07:06:00.000-08:00

kudos to Mr. Indian security guard on duty at the place between orchard mrt and wisma..ok u did waste a few minutes of my time checking my bag but u did what u were supposed to do! havta admit that if i had more facial hair i would probably resemble the disgruntled and restless radical muslim youth from the suburbs of war-torn iraq bent on destroying the bush admin and his infidels for the cause of all our problems as brained-washed by Mr.al-zarqawi (the typical lieutenant who issues orders for people to blow themselves up but doesnt lead by example) point to note though..a suicide bomber wont stuff his explosives in a ripcurl bag..

PART 2: the bad

2005-11-19T07:01:00.000-08:00

stupid taxi driver refused to drive me all the way to my destination coz he was afraid of the traffic jam and i had to walk in the end..eh c'm on lar wad kind of stupid service is this..it was a good thing he met with the nice daren li today if not i would have asked for his company number and license plate and give his boss a good earful..slacker

PART 3: & the elderly

2005-11-19T06:57:00.000-08:00

my second cab driver (rich eh) was some old folk..he talked to me for a while about AC as he saw the AC crest on my shirt..frankly was quite scarred as he talked as though he would go into a fits or heart attack anytime..

2005-11-17T09:53:00.000-08:00

jz realised that my housing estate is a "xiao mui mui" haven
its times like these when u wish u were 4 or 5 yrs younger
chiam: "aiyar give you 1000 girls also no use lar"

cock pictures

2005-11-11T19:11:00.000-08:00

why i will never be singapore's hottest male blogger

TAB TV

2005-11-11T18:43:00.000-08:00

in another sign of sheer desperateness to capture the minds of millions of island wide viewers, TCS' channel 5 has come up with another crap show called TAB TV. lets see what the docu drama achieved in educating...
1. there are china girls selling their bodies in...eh wait i already know that
2. there are infidel cheeko pehs looking for se...eh wait i already know that
3. most of these girls are doing it out of difficult circum...eh wait WHY DO I NEED TO KNOW THAT
4. the rates for sex are anywhere between $40-...eh wait i DO NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT
so the singapore censorship board assumes that all growing up males sleep at 10pm and their curiosity level to find out more about these prostitues (plus the fact that probably 90% of males are horny most of the time) is being curbed by their high sense of morality.
what is TCS trying to prove or achieve? is the part of Mr. gahmen's effort to promote free trade with china? or is it because we do not have enough "made in china" products in singapore. maybe its another "speak good mandarin campaign"

sweet dreams are made of this...

2005-10-30T05:27:00.000-08:00

had two consecutive nights dreaming of girls...its kind of embarrassing to pen this down but for the sake of entertaining my faithful blog viewers and to keep my blog ratings going...
the first dream was lame so i shall not go into it...
in my second dream, i dream that this chiobu came up to me and asked me if i was free on wednesday (apparantly she wanted to ask me out on a date duh) and she gave me her number. the funny part was that her number did not begin with a "9" or "8" but went something like ^%E*()_# so my immediate reaction was to suspect that she was an alien...then i had to wake up from my stupid dream...
this is the sad part...this is the first time a chiobu asked me out for a date...and it had to happen in a DREAM!...the only other people that ask me out for dates are girls who resemble the mountain ogres from LORD OF THE RINGS and the stupid gay shit larry that the SAF smartly employed...dunno whether to laugh or to cry...
forty yr old virgin xial!!!

william hung

2005-10-07T10:48:00.000-07:00

girls girls...tay ping hui is in my camp for his reservist
i think i know wad i wanna do for a living: follow in ping hui's footsteps as an actor...
not that he has inspired me or anything...
in fact this was one of my many ambitions before...
and since besides looking at chiobus i cant do anything else except eat, sleep and play soccer...
not for fame or fortune...
but the fact that you can be a different person everyday...
great way to harness my inner schizophrenic powers...

but i dun wanna go through all those stupid "star search contests" or "project superstar" or wadeva...
later my results..."you cant sing you cant dance what can you do bleah bleah..."
then i can only say "i tried my best and i had no professional help bleah bleah..."
"she bangs she bangs..."

how to lose your money in ten days

2005-10-07T10:26:00.000-07:00

many ppl think that im damn brave but the even manier ppl who know me well, know that im actually damn hum ji (balless)..damn it how do u ask back money from the small minority of ppl you know who are less than acquaintances, those who even if they disappear from the face of this earth, you wouldnt even realise it...well now you would coz that bugger still owes you $5.00 worth of dinner money!!!

my physio once told me that she wanted to be a business woman but she dunno how to get money back from ppl so not very suitable for her...think the same case goes for me...shit man bloody hell somemore im in biz management in SMU...dunno if they got modules on "money extortion" etc...

can any wise and kind soul pls enlighten me on this important life skill...and can all those fcukers out there who constanly "eh can buy me dinner first later i pay u back" then the later is like when the sun rise from the west...pls automatic abit...

daren the boussier

2005-10-02T22:27:00.000-07:00

*photo of daren smoking in uniform*

melancholy

2005-09-24T09:29:00.000-07:00

haiz man utd is fuked...
sack ferguson?
sell van nistelrooy?
another multi-million dollar take over?

the correct answer...
sign Daren Li

let me put forward this theory to you...

2005-09-18T03:40:00.000-07:00

let me put forward this theory to you...
are the kind of guys that gays like equal to the kind of guys that girls like?
i.e. guys (gays like) = guys (girls like)
are the guys on the left column equal to the guys on the right column?
work out the theory/equation...

wadz the use of being the sweetest thing when she cant taste it...

you fukin look like her!!!

2005-09-11T04:28:00.000-07:00

this sept 11 post is dedicated to this girl..the girl whom i was absolutely smitten during college.
she was the most beautiful thing i have seen then and probably up till now. almost perfect in every way; on the inside and the outside.
and to think i only talked to her in person..the very most what? 5 minutes..that feeling was orgasmic..

when you think back about how you make fun of people like cuong being tall, dark and handsome you actually realise that the real loser is you..look at who has gotten their prized possession..i salute their bravery and determination to overcome the odds the bookies stack against them..and look at people like me fukin hell only able to talk to the girl he likes for..5 mins???!!!

happy birthday ruoxi!

2AD4

2005-09-09T05:03:00.000-07:00

bai tian wo men shi student ran ho wan shang wo men shi brother...

gays in your work place

2005-09-02T08:24:00.000-07:00

when you say you are gay...
7-12 yrs old: its jz for the fun of it..you dont really mean it..your friends laugh at you but secretly they admire your courage for saying you are gay coz its a taboo word during that age group..
13-16 yrs old: its probably to distract your friends from confessing that you like that certain someone of the opposite sex..
17-18 yrs old: its a rather grey area here..you can say you are gay jz for fun..or do you really mean it..
18 yrs onwards: some ppl (like me) say for the fun of it..but when a REAL gay takes what you say for real you realise "oh shit what the f*^~ have i said.."when he starts pestering you with lewd messages..
My suggestion to remedy this problem: Gays should have a 1m pole stuck up their asses until it comes out from their throat to make them realise gay sex is no fun at all..

the funny auntie

2005-08-27T09:28:00.000-07:00

"lai boy shao ah..."(translated careful boy hot ah) shrieks the kopitiam auntie..then when u turn behind she is only carrying a small plate of chili..u feel like an idiot having made way for her and her 100 degrees celcius plate of chili..but u jz smile to yourself..this world is so cute..

days of defiance

2005-08-27T09:23:00.000-07:00

i really miss those days of defiance where u can jz stand up against a teacher and talk back for basically being too boring and a nag..or jz blatantly sleep in her (notice the sex) class..of course there are the exceptions like Mrs Creffield where her screaming will leave your mouth shut for the rest of the day..
its so different in the army where if you retort or reply sacrcastically to your much smarter superior, chances are that you may end up in dentention barracks which is tantamount to going to jail..i really miss the days of defiance..
welcome to the real world..

its official

2005-08-20T09:13:00.000-07:00

ground breaking decisions decisions decisions...
my wife will be the next best thing to perfect...chio, and basically anything you can ask for in a perfect wife...and chio (just to emphasize a point)
if not i will not marry...prob adopt a foreign kid like angelina jolie...

jz an observation...sg's brainiest kids consists only of guys...the only girl is the dumb host...oops what was that supposed to mean...

24th july 2005

2005-07-24T04:52:00.000-07:00

as another yr flies past, its only natural i become wiser..random thoughts generate in my mind to prove of my maturity..
1) wonder why when it comes to talking to other races like 'ang mohs' and japanese etc, people will adopt an ang moh or jap accent..but when it comes to talking to an indian, it would be almost considered racist to adopt an indian accent to reply them..
2) there are 31 days in almost every month in the calender. consider this. a month consists of 4 weeks, and a week consists of 7 days so that makes up 7 x 4 = 28 days in a month. so is there 28 days in a month or 31 days? where has the extra 3 days gone to?

ok lar dont fret over these idiotic thoughts..enjoy these birthday photos..

daren yawns at the surprise..."boring..."

daren wonders what is a cake..he has neither heard nor seen one before

daren ponders how he should destroy the cake

last but not least, the wonderful class of 2AD4 2002-2003

24th july

2005-07-16T09:30:00.000-07:00

whether on purpose or by accident, you and i are somehow fated now that you have stumbled upon my blog. you are therefore obliged to get me anyone of these things on my birthday wishlist..failing which you would suffer the curse of remaining a virgin forever..yes this is a chain blog..leave your name in the commentaries as to which gift you are getting so as to prevent two people from buying me the same gift..as for the 7th gift, its not first come first serve..leave your beautiful names there and i will select from the long list..any queries please feel free to contact me..
1) an MP3 player..preferably an ipod
2) a 3g phone..preferably motorolla
3) a digi camera..no specific brand..5.0 megapixels will do
4) oakleys specs
5) a vespa
6) a laptop
7) a chiobu gf
8) anything else costly is welcomed

counting crows

2005-07-16T09:16:00.000-07:00

somehow im not really looking forward to my 20th birthday, knowing that it might not be as happening as the last 2 ones..
my 18th birthday was a blast..getting stripped right in the middle of the sch void deck..a hole was ripped right in the middle of my pants and savagely pulled out till i was left with only my boxers on..had to scurry to the toilet while the whole school population watched on..well at least that pushed me to "fame"
not to be outdone by my 18th birthday..i was again stripped on my 19th birthday by my ocs platoon mates (yes future officers are crazy too) and they happily put stuff on my body..no wait IN my body..i can still feel the aerosol spray going up my ass..
not sure if my 20th birthday would be this fun..

what love song are u singing

2005-07-13T06:40:00.000-07:00

what love song are u singing in your love life?take my self-created quiz to find out!

1) you are possibly the ugliest fcuk in the world but your stead is angelina jolie-"beauty and the beast" by disney soundtracks. nuff' said

2) you are crazy in love with this girl and vice-versa but for whatever sad reason you cant be with her or things would get complicated.very drama mama.-"dont cry" by guns n' roses ("you gotta make it your own way but you'll be alrite now sugar...baby maybe someday!")

3) you are 30 yrs old but you are the biggest failure in love. the record for number of steads you have stands at a whopping zero.-"lonely no more" by rob thomas ("i dont wanna be lonely no more!!!")

4) you devote your entire life to your stead. he/she does not reject you outright, but has been playing your feelings like as if it was a playstation portable.-"i dont wanna know" by mario winnans ("i dont wanna know, if you're playing me keep it on a low...")

5) you and your stead have the perfect relationship. you two have never had to quarrel your entire life, you two grow up get married have kids and live happily ever after. "no such thing" by john mayer...well coz there is just no such thing!!!

im sure there are more examples and a wider variety of relationships out there...the floor is open for comments!!!

quotable quotes

2005-07-13T04:36:00.000-07:00

"what a crazy week in hollywood-michael jackson has stopped sleeping with childeren in his bed, and tom cruise has started"-michael somerville, stand up comedian

daren the misogynist

2005-07-10T04:47:00.000-07:00

i hate it when woman do this
1) bastard me i.e. pang seh me at the last minute (haha wai take this is good stride lar)
2) a girl looking damn chio from the back and when she turns around she is actually lionel in long hair

duddy

2005-07-03T05:38:00.000-07:00

jz wondering why im not as hardworking as my father..sure he's a workaholic but if only i was half as hardworking as him..think i only inherited his negative genes like his obiang style but not his horse-genes..well at least im thankful i didnt inherit his looks haha..oh well dad i love you..happy advanced birthday..

daren's fables (a little x-rated)

2005-06-26T06:38:00.000-07:00

the emperor's new clothes (the chiobu's new bf)

a conman tried to con an emperor. (an ugly guy tried to chase a chiobu) he told him that he would make a new set of clothes for him and only idiots are unable to see the clothes. (he told her that only superficial people will disapprove of their relationship) the emperor gave him a chance and indeed the conman made a new set of clothes. (the chiobu gave him a chance) everyone praised the workmanship including the king himself. (everyone praised the chiobu for being able to look beyond the guy's looks) then a young little boy finally revealed the truth (then daren revealed the truth)..the king is naked!(the guy is freaking ugly!!!) but by then the conman had fled the country with the king's reward. (by then the ugly guy had fled with her cherries)

a random post

2005-06-22T03:23:00.000-07:00

its hard not to behave like a nutcase and laugh to yourself all of a sudden with no apparant rhyme or reason..well almost no reason..
check out wad this guy said to the doctor (i was beside him)

doctor: out of ten, how do you rate your pain (one being the least pain, ten the most)
patient: the last time it was about six out of ten
doctor: so how do you rate it now
patient: oh now it is much better, less pain, about SIX out of ten
daren: *um chio*

sometimes i do irresponsible things to humour myself, like not cleaning my cast before my hand therapy, making sure that it stinks of perspiration etc. imagine going for foot reflexology and the week before you purposely go on a crash course to achieve athelete's feet, running 10km everyday without changing your socks etc..

going crazy

2005-06-19T07:15:00.000-07:00

doctor help me
i think im batman..im yearning for my first taste of bloodlust..im yearning to get into a fight even if it means getting beaten up..
wait wasnt i peter parker the geek a.k.a spiderman?..i tot i was busy saving the world while i lose the girl of my dreams..
nopez i got it all wrong..i was clark kent a.k.a superman remember..star crossed lovers with lana lang
doctor help me..im still a kiddd

HYPOCRITES

2005-06-18T09:02:00.000-07:00

well only wai min and nadia know why this entry is labelled hypocrites..anywayz too lazy to come up with some controverxial topic so decided to put in some picts of "babes"..come get it girls..i know you want them haha..

im actually trying to get a picture of the girl in the background..

black metal!!! daren says peace man!!!

wai and nadia's new dance moves..
step1

step 2

step 3

last but not least..

backyard darenism

2005-06-17T01:33:00.000-07:00

"the most painful form of social darensim is backyard darenism..."-daren

backyard darensim: social darensim that occurs in your own backyard i.e. your family members, friends etc. watching it occur while not being able to stop it from happening for whatever the reason.

its been an eventful 4 days at church camp. i came to realise some things at the camp that i never realised before. i think i am either..
a) bloody superficial
b) gonna be super possessive
c) a bastard (a mix of bloody superficial and super possessive)

i think the answer is c. haiz im damn moody. dont talk to me.

gramophone girl

2005-06-02T23:45:00.000-07:00

thanks nadia for letting me steal your photos..visit her blog at http://www.prettyflowerr.blogspot.com/

seperatist rebels of 2AD4

i was the only one in the pict..until wai had to stick her nose into it

wai jealous that she is not getting any attention from me

nadia laughing at a lovesick daren

handsome

2005-05-22T19:40:00.000-07:00

it would be disastrous if denise keller picked howard to win eye for a guy..aww fcuk man that guy seriously looks like a 'surinam toad'..plus the fact that he is a short fcuk..think denise can tower over him..why would any girl wanna be seen in public towering over another guy..people will think that howard is her son..wait that guy looks too old to be her son..so people will think that he is her sugar daddy..or maybe they would think that denise is taking her mutated pet toad out for a walk..

check out what he says about himself and the other contestants in an interview..
Why should Denise pick you?
"Because I’m like a freshly-baked cream puff and the other guys are day old burned bread."

i think his face itself looks burned..
well this is an extremely good case study for social darenism should howard win denese's heart..watch this space should that be the outcome of the show..

the evolution of woman...

2005-05-15T04:13:00.000-07:00

for the 1st time im serious

2005-05-08T03:44:00.000-07:00

take a look at the straits times on saturday and you will read about teen sex on the rise and its consequences. the journalists' lamenting and concerned attitude towards the worrying trend is commendable but just place the article right next to a copy of FHM and you will see an ironic parallel of two widely read forms of media, one wondering why teens are frequently having sex, while the other teaching your the best positions, asking which of your ex-stead was the best at doing IT etc..

in a few years time we will probably see another article wondering why gambling addicts and broken homes are on the rise while in some other new gambling magazine an article on how to place bets, borrow money as well as promoting singapore's two new casinos..

not that i want to say..

2005-05-02T02:42:00.000-07:00

not that i want to comment but..
im starting to notice that those with steads (esp the male gender) are those who are "very well liked" by their friends, NOT being constantly stabbed in the back..
examples include our all time favourite "man of the molement", not far behind is the moudman "prophet" followed by aqua man..
BUT i have to say that im not involved in any of the back-stabbing sessions, besides the "man of the molement"..
would you rather be stabbed in the back by your friends and have a stead or be the most popular guy in your hang out group but at the same time a virgin for the rest of your life?

wooters, chemical ali, social darenism and the G spot

2005-05-01T20:38:00.000-07:00

i think this will be one of those entries where you can talk about what happened last night and no one else will find it boring.
i, meng, bird and simon were at hooters (pronounced wooters for effect) to check out some waitress babes..anywayz there was one particular babe whom we wanted to constantly serve us but did not have the balls to ask her to do so. bird realised that she was circleling our table like a
vulture (and thus probably checking us out) and wants IT but dunno who to choose from amongst the four of us (actually it would be 3 coz bird wont make the first cut) i could swear i have seen her somewhere before as she looks so damn familiar..must be a few nights ago's ONS. anywayz also had less than half a mug of beer and my stomach didnt feel that well..shit man i shouldnt even think abt starting to drink beer and stuff..
well rewind back as to how we got to hooters..got into a cab from blue bar bistro when i accidentally let one rip in the cab and this bird just unwind the window..nothing funny yet until the taxi driver asked what we were doing and meng said that i "fang pi" so the driver replied "wo ye yao unwind" or something like that so he unwound his window..damn bloody
retarded..
rewind back to how we got into blue bar bistro..got into a cab from ah meng's house and we passed by the istana..then we started commenting about the govt when we started to criticise the govt, blaming it for social darenism..later we realised that the cabbie could be some secret agent working for the govt keeping tabs on insurgents like us so we were damn paranoid for the trip..
again rewind back to how we got to ah meng's house..this time ah meng drove us back from lido and we started talking about the guy's G spot and debating whether it was in the arse or at the "base". you could tell ah meng couldnt concentrate on his drive and i was damn scarred he would just laugh his way into an accident..anywayz itz just damn gross to stick a pencil up your arse for sexual pleasure, let alone ask if a wooden or rubber pencil would feel more shiok..but thats what some bugger did..
think i wrote too much already..its time to sign off..another sucky week at work..

9pm chinese serial

2005-04-24T07:38:00.000-07:00

jz wondering..what if you found out that bill gates or someone influential was your long lost father and he wants you back to inherit his microsoft kingdom and you will live like a king for the rest of your life..will you forsake the happiness of your current fake and poor family (assuming you were happy and poor in the first place) and go back to father bill..

apologies to all the feminists out there if i made it seem as if only fathers can be rich..

but its a fact HAHA!!

the truth hurts

2005-04-17T04:55:00.000-07:00

lionel: "you will be considered damn lucky if your wife is still a virgin *pause*...and also a chio one..."

the kingdom of sodom and gomorrah

2005-04-15T09:25:00.000-07:00

its like im a gay magnet. firstly i attracted VIN DIESEL (thankfully now thats over) and another gay, JUDE LAW happily props up and does his advances. do i look like gay to you all? can you all mr. gays out there please leave me alone. im a guy man. im heterosexual. i needta have sex, but with a ingava and not sseas. what do you all see in me. i curse, i swear, i fart own time own target, i burp with the purpose of letting the whole world get a whiff of the aroma, i have a black heart, i dont bathe, i dont brush my teeth, and i swear i will tear you gays into microscopic pieces if you ever dare as how chiam would put it "touch my frank lampard."

devious weasel

2005-04-09T08:50:00.000-07:00

in every company there is a scheming bastard who deviously works his way up the corporate ladder, sometimes at the expense of his colleagues.fcuking nacho novo so high and mighty, you can do no wrong while everyone is always at fault. fcuking finding fault with me and when you are at fault all you can say is "i know im PARTIALLY at fault BUT.." kiss my ass dude why are u partially at fault when you failed your duty? and why is there a but? trying to point the finger at someone else i see..dont think i cant see through your intentions. you may fool everyone else but u will never fool me!

pope

2005-04-09T08:46:00.000-07:00

i wonder why everyone is getting so psyched up about the death of the pope. who is he? what has he done? i may be lacking in knowledge about what "wonders" he has done but isnt he human after all? why worship a normal human? why believe that a human has supernatural powers to bless the masses? im human too..why dont you all bow down at my feet and worship me instead? i will give you all powers beyond your wildest imagination HAHAHA!!!anyway the pope sounds like some kind of drug. like "pop some pope" that kind of thing..

assume

2005-04-09T08:43:00.000-07:00

eng lesson no.1: the proper usage of assume
if you assumed something and it only made an ass out of yourself and not the other party, then the correct word to use is "assme" e.g. i assmed that she liked me so when i PRIVATELY confessed that i liked her and realised that she didnt share the same sentiments, it only made an ass out of myself.
however if you made an ass out of yourself and the other party, then the correct word to use is "assume" e.g. i assumed that she liked me so when i PUBLICLY confessed that i liked her and realised that she didnt share the same sentiments, it made an ass out of the both of us.